When life is good, I find beauty in everything, myself included. But when life gets messy, I must actively seek it. Search it out with focus on gratitude for all that is right. This reconnects me to love.
When things are hectic and I don’t stop to reconnect, my focus jumps from one worry to the next. I make a connection with fear instead. My worries, like weeds, begin to drop roots in love’s place. The deeper the roots of fear, the more frivolous seeking beauty seems. Like some luxury I cannot afford. My worries need my attention, don’t they?
The longer this goes on the further worry spreads, and the harder it is to believe in anything beautiful about the world or about myself. The fear can choke the love right out of me. Once tuned in to the frequency of doubt, my search for beauty becomes hopeless. When I dwell on my fears, love in that moment is abandoned. And that moment is the only moment where life exists. It is at these times I must cultivate the beauty. And for that, I must find my strength.
I look back on the fears I once mistook for truths, how impossible they seemed to get beyond. From here and now, I see they were never true at all. They lived on whatever power I gave them. The real truth is, life isn’t about the struggles of my past or future, it is about the love I share now. Life is about having the strength to love unconditionally always despite worry and fear. Having the strength to love myself, with all my faults, so I can be whole enough to share my love. Being strong enough to fall in love with life itself.
This strength isn’t built lifting weights. It is built lifting doubt from my heart and having faith.
It is knowing who I am and who I am not and trusting myself. It is finding the beauty in the ugliest moments. It is choosing love over everything else.
In this place, my heart opens and I find the strength that was always there. When I am fearless in love, I am strong. And I am strong.
Is there fear in your life where instead there could be love? Right now is the only time that exists. Choose love. Conjure your drishti, open your heart. You are beautiful. You are strong.
Nikki- a Mother, Wife, Healer, Hopeful Suburban Homesteader. . . Words are my mind’s tools; writing, my soul’s craft; this circus of life, my heart’s muse. Read more from Nikki here on her blog, The Way I Bee.